Saying Yes To Summer

Transitions, Fear, and Freedom

Summer has finally arrived – and I have found myself more excited than ever! Though summer is the season of fun and freedom, it can also be a season of anxiety with new experiences and the ever so common struggle to let go and enjoy. Some summer experiences feel like a YES and other summers can feel like a OH NO.

Summers, like all seasons, mark a transition which means we are saying goodbye (grief) to certain experiences (school, friends, structure) and hello to certain experiences (travel, camp, structure.) Some people take this in stride - it is the natural shift and since summer is known for freedom – an easy one.

For me being hyper aware of all changes and shifts in my life and my kid’s lives this isn’t only a “woohoo” time of year. There are many unknowns without our regular structure of the year and many blank pages to fill with what I hope are special memories. Watching my kids and even some friends swim through summer transitions is a reminder for me that I wasn’t always afraid. Yes used to be my first and only answer to summer!

The grief I mentioned above isn’t necessarily about a so-called “bad” change but just about change in general. During summer we have more space to be present with our emotions and more awareness that something big might be changing - a teenager graduating high school and moving away to college or a 2 month break from working are distinct changes in the way our lives play out.

Last summer, our home was under construction and I planned my first trip away from my family. These are fun things, yet there was also a tremendous amount of stress, surprises and grief along the way. As I write my book, I am reminded that many impactful experiences occurred during summer. To name a few…not in any order :

• getting married

• backpacking through South America

• breakups (literally every single one!)

• my grandpa’s funeral and grandmother’s passing (different years)

• traveling solo experiences

• moving homes and cities

• my birthday

This summer I have declared out loud FINALLY that I am working on writing my first book. I have also planned a few small trips to enjoy our break. These are exciting changes for me and though I have always loved summer, I still find myself a little anxious about the unknowns. This is natural and doesn’t mean that I won’t move forward and say yes but that even in saying yes, there is a bit of fear present.

Rather than backing away from some of these summer dreams, I remind myself that I am capable of facing the unknowns and enjoying myself. I can rise above the challenge and discomfort that arises from both letting go and saying yes to summer experiences.

Being able to enjoy our lives and live in the present moment throughout all transitions isn’t easy because there will always be some emotions and thoughts about it all. Saying goodbye doesn’t come without saying hello and saying hello doesn’t come without saying goodbye. In some languages it is even the same word!

This is a healthy cycle of life that I have always been resistant to. Because I stubbornly don’t want to let go even though what’s coming might be fun, new and so much better for me. On the flip side, I am also resistant to saying yes to summer because of how special and fun the experiences are - pretty tiring holding on to things at all angles :)

I realized a few years ago that enjoying myself was hard because I was so used to being stressed out that it actually felt unsafe to let go and enjoy. Sometimes I even avoided saying yes to summer because unconsciously, I knew that all summers come to an end at some point. Talk about creative ways to avoid living life - can you relate?

This summer before saying yes or no to new experiences remind yourselves that you are capable of meeting what is whether it be fun, light feeling or challenging and uncertain. Take steps to support yourself through transitions and always remember the kid in you that is ready to play and splash without concern of what tomorrow might bring - it's only good stuff by the way!

Questions to Consider:

What are some of my favorite summer memories?

If fear is present, what might it be telling me?

What would I LOVE to experience this summer?

What name can I give to this summer? For example, Summer of Love, Freedom or Play.